How to Write a Holiday Song That Isn’t Terrible

This week we’re back to having a guest blogger.  Mella Barnes is a Detroit-based singer/songwriter. She authored the book Way Less Cowbell - How to Communicate Your Musical Ideas. To read more from her, visit https://mellasongwriting.wordpress.com/blog/ and then also check out www.mellamusic.com to learn more about her and the various endeavors she’s involved with.

I am a songwriter, but I’m going to preface this by saying that I’ve never written a holiday song. I have, however, listened to no less than 34 million of them, so I’m pretty sure I’ve put in 10,000 hours of listening to holiday music in my life. Which, as they all say, makes me an expert at listening to songs.

Even if you’re not a fan of holiday music, I know you’ve heard some seasonal songs in your lifetime. Every store blares it at the beginning of November. Radio stations switch over from bland adult contemporary to the same 12 Bing Crosby songs until December 26th.

Musicians typically start recording holiday albums in the summer, so I’m way behind in writing any kind of instructional piece that will impact music this year. However, since I’m apparently an expert at listening to holiday music, and you, dear musician, are contemplating writing a holiday album to compete with the 759 billion other holiday albums in existence, I thought I’d give you some perspective as a listener and provide some tips to make your album shine as bright as your Christmases. Or something.

1.    Remember Your Audience

Country singers tend to have holiday albums with a country feel. Run DMC’s “Christmas in Hollis” was true to their style. Sure, it’s a holiday album and you want to get festive. Just keep in mind that your fans will be the first to give your holiday album a shot, so give them a little of what they already love. When an artist tries to step way out of their genre just for the holidays, it’s very obvious and comes off like they’re trying too hard.

2.     Consider Diversity

You may have noticed that I keep referring to “holiday” songs, instead of “Jesus’s Birthday Songs.” That’s because this wonderful, glorious, freezing-cold time of year is celebrated by many religions and faiths. I’m not telling you to write a pagan Yule song if you’re celebrating Christmas, I’m just asking that you keep in mind that people believe different things. I knew of an artist who wrote a Christmas song and the words were something to the effect of, “Jesus definitely existed and you’re a moron if you don’t agree and you’re all going to burn in hell, so my family and I celebrate that we are the smartest people on Earth.” I mean, way to get everyone into the holiday spirit, right? Obviously, write what you believe. Write what’s in your heart to sing. Just maybe leave out the slamming and hatred of other beliefs.

3.    Choose Covers Wisely

Listen, we all love “I’ll Be Home For Christmas.” But I’ve heard it so many times that if you’re not bringing anything new or fresh to the table, it’s going to get lost in the cacophony of the 839 other versions of the song I have (and Whitney Houston’s was the best and it’s not up for debate anyway so whatever).

4.     Do Whatever You Want

I realize I’m negating everything I just said, but at the end of the day it’s your album. It’s your choice to create and perform whatever you like. You have until next summer to plan your holiday album for next year, so make it exactly what you want it to be.