Yesterday marked exactly two weeks since my birthday. And I’m not writing that so that people will send me belated birthday wishes.
For the record, it’s belated Happy Birthday, it’s not Happy Belated Birthday. The wishes are belated, not the birthday. Got it? Thank you. Please drive ahead to the second window.
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I bring up all of the above because it points to the latest example of where things have deteriorated to on LinkedIn – a platform that I otherwise really enjoy and think highly of. I can’t say the same for others, unfortunately, and it’s because of the type of behavior that I’m referring to above.
First let’s all admit that we have Facebook friends or LinkedIn connections or maybe even people that we follow on Instagram that you one day look at and say, “I’m not even sure who that is, actually.” This is me raising my hand to admit my guilt in that regard.
However, since someone was nice enough to send me a private message on LinkedIn, wishing me Happy Birthday, I replied with a simple Thank You back to them. This is where I admit that I wasn’t even sure who the person was, yet it shouldn’t matter in that case. It’s kind of standard procedure that, of course, you acknowledge their message with a small expression of gratitude.
What I couldn’t have expected, though, was what came back to me.
This person – and I can almost picture them reacting with, “A ha! I got him! It worked!” – proceeded to write me back with a sales pitch! To me, that’s stooping pretty low. “Hmm, how about if I leverage it being this guy’s birthday? I don’t know him, but why should that stop me? It’s a cold call.”
It makes me wonder if this is a routine that is part of the sales strategy. “I’ll look every day on LinkedIn to see whose birthday it is among my connections and send the person wishes and then wait to pounce when they write me back.”
I didn’t even answer back.
Yes, since I already confessed above to having connections that I’m not even sure who it is, I’ll admit that I thought of sending back a “How dare you” reply. But then I’d look like the bad guy in a scenario where it’s clearly the other person who is in the wrong.
And now I’m sort of traumatized by it. Let me explain further.
Someone else – mind you, massively late – has tried to now send me belated birthday wishes in a private message on LinkedIn too. I don’t know who this person is either, but moreover, my knee jerk reaction is to think, “Oh my gosh – are they up to the same thing too?”
So, the first offender has sort of ruined it for the others.
Mind you, I almost feel like in society we need to draw a line at when it becomes too late to send someone belated birthday wishes, so I’m also turned off by this second person trying to get in under the wire even though I feel the window closed.
But folks, LinkedIn can and should be a great place to network. Making the private messages an area you don’t want to venture into, though, is tarnishing the experience – but also your reputation.
Girls say that guys are blowing up their DMs on Instagram, but – while this doesn’t make that behavior okay – that’s not a business networking platform.
To be getting in the virtual face of someone you simply see as a prospect on LinkedIn is as bothersome as the cold call emails that I constantly find myself replying to with “Take me off your list.”
To the people who are guilty of the LinkedIn private messaging behavior that I have been describing here, I’ll issue a two-word message that has become a common expression in 2025, “Do better.”
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