Patience Really Is a Virtue

There’s a scene in the 2005 movie “The Wedding Crashers” when Jeremy Grey (played by Vince Vaughn) looks at John Beckwith (Owen Wilson) and says with frustration, “A friend in need is a pest.”  In the music business, not only do you not want to be known as a pest, but it’s especially important to keep in mind when you consider that the person you are trying to get something from likely isn’t even your friend!

Whether you’re contacting somewhere that you’re trying to get booked at to play, a member of the media to try to get coverage, a potential sponsor or investor, or some other key individual that you want something from, patience is indeed a virtue.

Keep in mind that it’s never best to lead with your hand out in the first place.  People will sense right away if you only want something from them and are going to ask in that very first introduction.  Show sincere interest in who they are and what they do.  Focus on building a relationship, not completing a transaction.

It’s also important to remember that you’re not the first and only one asking this person for something.  Put yourself in the other person’s shoes.  For example, someone who handles booking at a club, venue, restaurant, etc. is getting contacted every day by people wanting to perform there.  Between emails, phone calls, unannounced visits, and in some cases even materials sent through the U.S. Mail, these folks are quite overwhelmed to begin with.  So, you calling and saying, “Hi, I’m just following up on an email I sent an hour ago.  I was in there last night and you told me to follow up with you,” is probably a little too much too soon, not to mention checking back again two days later – and then two days after that.

For the record, there actually is a happy medium here.  I still remember seeing a songwriter post in a forum last year that he (finally!) got booked on the 17th call!  While he didn’t state over what span of time this went on for, from what I knew of this guy I assumed (hoped, lol) that it was many (many) months.  They say that timing is everything, so it could be on your first call or your 17th, but make sure you’re keeping track of when you last called (or emailed or stopped in).  If it feels too soon, it probably is.

There are enough “no” responses in the music business, not to mention the absence of a response (i.e. email goes unanswered, calls are not returned), so don’t set yourself up for disappointment when it might have been your own actions that led to a “no” or a didn’t-hear-back.  While you have to have thick skin in this industry since there are certainly far more “no” than “yes” answers, deducing that maybe your over-persistence led to the other party deciding they don’t want to deal with you (anymore) is a little tougher to swallow.

Don’t get me wrong, I realize it’s important to stay on people’s radar.  But just keep in mind, you want to keep that position because you’re someone they want to remember, not a pest that they want to forget.