It’s a regular occurrence in the music world, but that doesn’t make it okay and mean that you just accept it. After all, a student failing a test in school happens frequently but that isn’t the green light to just haphazardly go through their studies and shrug off not passing.
I’m referring to quitting the band that you’ve been playing with, whether for six months or six years.
And I’m writing about it this week because it’s the culmination of so many social media posts – too many social media posts – that I’ve been seeing, where a player is letting everyone know that they are no longer going to be performing with (insert band name here). Sometimes I’ve seen them indicating what they’re doing next. It’s those that don’t have their next step planned out that are worrisome. I liken that to someone quitting their 9-5 and not having something else lined up that they’re going to.
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Over my twenty years running Now Hear This, I’ve certainly heard a lengthy list of talking points around a band breaking up or one of their members leaving. Meaning, I understand why and that it happens, although it doesn’t mean that I have to be okay with every argument that I hear in that debate.
When someone says they felt too much pressure and were stressed, I ask if they did anything about it or if quitting the band is them doing something about it. In other words, it’s a rather extreme “solution” to a situation that likely could’ve otherwise been worked out, had there been some communication first either with the other band members or at least whoever is the band leader.
Sometimes on their way out the door a band member will say that they felt unappreciated. Don’t we all feel that in our job at some point? Even those of us that run our own business have somebody that we deal with that leaves us feeling that way. If everybody who felt unappreciated quit what they were doing, we’d all be walking around jobless.
My father worked at a job where they used to say that it takes ten “awe s--t's” to equal one “atta boy.” I challenge you to step back first and answer, Weren’t you, in fact, complimented many times by the band leader if not the other band members?
If you’re in a band and you feel that your role isn’t clearly defined, meaning that you aren’t always one hundred percent sure what you should be doing, it’s as simple as speaking up and asking, rather than deciding to quit. Communication is the key throughout so, so much of this, that just staying silent (and then walking away) is not the answer.
Granted, I realize that there are a lot of people who aren’t as communicative as we’d like them to be. But the good news is, it’s late 2024 and we have SO many methods to reach people. Let me explain this further.
If your band has a group chat, that’s great. But, depending on the ages of your band members, there actually are some people – believe it or not – that just aren’t text messagers. As a result, you play the hand your dealt, meaning, you recognize that and then find an alternate method.
One of the other band members isn’t answering your emails? Text that person. Call that person. Send them a Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn private message. Mostly, at rehearsal or a gig, ask them what their preferred method of communication is!
If you feel you need to make money and are quitting the band, I’m going to be confused; unless you, as noted above, say that you have something else already in place. In other words, “I need to make money” is contradictory if you’re walking away from a paying gig but don’t have anything lined up to replace it with yet. “Hope is not a strategy,” Tampa Bay Lightning Head Coach Jon Cooper once said.
Personalities, schedules, “creative differences,” splitting the money, egos, I’ve heard it all. But the harsh reality is that it starts with looking in the mirror. To use an expression I’m quite fond of, do a self-audit.
Keep in mind that players do come and go. If you think the band is going to fall apart because you’re leaving, consider Rock & Roll Hall of Fame band Rush who had John Rutsey as their drummer on their debut album – and proceeded to record and tour from their second album forward to legendary success with Neil Peart going on to become one of the greatest drummers of all time (if not the greatest).
Everybody is replaceable. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. And bad news travels fast. The music world is very small, and you don’t want to burn a bridge. Someone might just do a reference check. What will be said about you?
For twenty years I have been helping indie music artists, authors, actors, entrepreneurs, podcasters, filmmakers, small business owners, and more. What challenges are you having in your creator career that I can lend some insight to? Let’s get on a short call together so you can take advantage of all my experience, and I can help and keep you moving forward.