Me: “Hi, my name is Bruce”
Support group: “Hi Bruce”
Me: “I have friends on Facebook that I don’t know who they are”
Support group: (sighs)
Admit it. If you’re on Facebook – and who, other than my brother, isn’t – you too have checked people out, decided ‘sure, I guess’ and added them as a friend on Facebook. Down the road at some point you’ve looked at that name and admitted, “I have no idea who that is.”
Remember when Ronald Reagan said, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall”? Well, apparently at some point people gathered somewhere in the interwebs and decided that the wall should come down between Facebook being for known acquaintances and being friendly and, on the other side of it, LinkedIn and professional connections.
Routinely in this weekly blog as well as on many (many) episodes of the “Now Hear This Entertainment” podcast I stress the importance of networking and routinely say, “You can never have too many contacts.”
Unlike the 40th president of the United States, however, I do have put up a STOP sign and insist on a cyber wall. As much as I enjoy making new connections, consider these recent examples that, dare I say, appalled me. (To the dismay of the requesting party, they obviously resulted in me taking no action whatsoever.)
Happy Birthday
Last week Tuesday was my birthday. (That’s Sep. 28th in case you want to mark your calendar for next year. *wink*) Someone on Facebook sent me wishes through Messenger and, after doing so in two sentences launched into three paragraphs with a pitch. Not cool. Hey person who I don’t know how we even became Facebook friends, let me enjoy my cake and open my gifts. Save the cold call for someone else.
Happy Birthday Part 2
A second example from the same day was someone who actually posted on my personal Timeline on Facebook with Happy Birthday wishes. I liked it and commented back. And then they proceeded to invite me to a private Facebook group. Sigh. For those wondering, no, I didn’t have ice cream with my cake. Oh, and I didn’t join the Facebook group either. Mm. Disappointing.
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Extreme email
So that Mark Zuckerberg doesn’t feel bad, let’s step away from Facebook. Instead, let’s talk about alienating someone you hope to connect with by way of email instead. There’s someone who wrote to me on September 20th, sent me a connection request via LinkedIn the next morning, emailed me again two hours after that (just one minute shy of being exactly 24 hours from the first email they’d sent), and then, emailed me again on the 24th. In the latter communication I could see in the email preview that their message started with, “Sorry, did I do something wrong, or are you just super busy?” I don’t know, email writer, which do you think it is?!
Instagram comments
When we’re first connecting with someone it shouldn’t be with our hand out, other than for a handshake. But as you can see, some people just think sales first and relationship second (or not at all). So, when you comment on my Instagram posts with spam that is about phony exposure that you think you can provide to me, I’m not interested, other than to report your comment to Instagram as spam and delete your comment. It’s really no different than sending me a DM on there and telling me about what you call a collaboration opportunity when really all it is is me buying your watch or your clothes at a discounted price and then posting images of me wearing such and offering my followers a discount code. None of this feels like genuine relationship building.
People still use U.S. Mail?
There is an insurance agent locally who I’m about to pay a visit to. Sadly, for them, it’s not because I’m going to be doing business. They have now sent via U.S. Mail the same 6x9 postcard four times in probably two weeks. It’s not only addressed in the previous resident’s name (“Or Resident”) but it’s way too much. You got my attention, but for all the wrong reasons.
The pandemic and its impact on face-to-face meetups aside, if you’re struggling to make new connections, look at the methods you’re employing. If, gulp, you have engaged in one or more of the above practices, it’s time to look in the mirror, admit you have a problem, and take a whole new approach. You can’t get results from people who you turn off by barging in their virtual front door or ringing their virtual doorbell over and over and over and over.
Want to discuss successful options for getting noticed? Take advantage of my more than 15 years running Now Hear This and getting results for clients throughout the U.S. by booking a private, one-on-one, online video consultation with me. Then, share your horror stories so others can sit in a virtual support group when you post your experiences on Twitter, Facebook, or LinkedIn.